The text below emerged from the experiences of many bodies who have been systemically impacted by the violences of colonialism.
As a living text, it calls us to welcome a thunderstorm ancestor coming with heavy rain, and teenage and elderly winds that can help us move to a different space in our relationships, perhaps opening up possibilities for new forms of co-existence.
We invite you to create a quiet space to hold the text and request close to your heart for a while and to witness your own responses to the rain and the wind.
If you feel moved, please share what you have learned or felt below in any form you like. You may also be asked by the thunderstorm to contribute extra verses or write another version of the text.
wanna be an ally?
don’t do it for charity, for feeling good, for looking good, or for showing others that you are doing good
don’t do it in exchange for redemption from guilt, for increasing your virtue, for appeasing your shame, for a vanity award
don’t put it on your CV, or on facebook, or in your thesis, don’t make it part of your brand, don’t use it for self-promotion
don’t do it as an excuse to keep your privileges, to justify your position, to do everything except what would beactually needed to change the terms of our relationship
do it only if you feel that our pasts, presents and futures are intertwined, and our bodies and spirits entangled
do it only if you sense that we are one metabolism that is sick, and what happens to me also happens to you
do it recognizing that you have the luxury of choice to participate or not, to stand or not, to give up your weekend or not, whereas others don’t get to decide
don’t try to “mould” me, or to “help” me, or to make me say and do what is convenient for you
don’t weaponize me (‘I couldn’t possibly be racist’)
don’t instrumentalize me (‘my marginalized friend says’)
don’t speak for me (‘I know what you really mean’)
don’t infantilize me (‘I am doing this for you’)
don’t make your actions contingent on me confiding in you, telling you my traumas, recounting my traditions, practicing your idea of ‘right’ politics, or performing the role of a victim to be saved by you or a revolutionary that can save you
and expect it to be, at times, incoherent, messy, uncomfortable, difficult, deceptive, contradictory, paradoxical, repetitive, frustrating, incomprehensible, infuriating, dull and painful – and prepare for your heart to break and be stretched
do you still want to do it?
then share the burdens placed on my back, the unique medicines you bring, and the benefits you have earned from this violent and lethal disease
co-create the space where I am able to do the work that only I can and need to do for all of us
take a step back from the center, the frontline from visibility relinquish the authority of your interpretations, your choice, your entitlements, surrender that which you are most praised and rewarded for
don’t try to teach, to lead, to organize, to mentor, to control, to theorize, or to determine where we should go, how to get there and why
offer your energy to peel potatoes, to wash the dishes, to scrub the toilets, to drive the truck, to care for the babies, to entertain the kids, to separate the trash, to do the laundry, to feed the elders, to clean the mess, to buy the food, to fill the tank, to write the grant proposal, to pay the tab and the bail
to do and support things you can’t and won’t understand, and do what is needed, instead of what you want to do, without judgment, or sense of martyrdom or expectation for gratitude, or for any kind of recognition
then you will be ready to sit with me through the storm
with the anger
the pain
the frustration
the losses
the fears
and the longing for better times
with each other
and you will be able
to cry with me
to mourn with me
to laugh with me
to “heart” with me
as we face our shadows
and find other joys
in earthing, breathing, braiding,
growing, cooking and eating,
sharing, healing, and thriving
side by side
so that we might
learn to be ourselves
but also something else
something that is also
you and me
and you in me
and neither you nor me
Gesturing Towards Decolonial Futures 
Yes. Peace.
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This is a beautiful collaboration /reflection/reminder/framework.
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From ego to interbeing. Humility — being of the earth.
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The section beginning with “do you still want to do it?” resonates and triggers my resistance (my whatabouts:), which is almost always a sign I need to reflect on what is behind the resistance I feel coming up when my throat constricts or jaw sets.
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I can feel society’s illness and connected to this passage: “do it only if you sense that we are one metabolism that is sick, and what happens to me also happens to you” That understanding, that none of us are well if one of us is ill, is at the heart of the work, for me.
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“to do and support things you can’t and won’t understand, and do what is needed, instead of what you want to do, without judgment, or sense of martyrdom or expectation for gratitude, or for any kind of recognition” is perhaps the strongest commitment I can make. It calls in the necessity of fully releasing my individual understanding of the world and requires me to willingly and knowingly give my whole self to support someone else’s humanity, path & journey.
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Settlers must respectfully serve and be willing to step aside and be told what to do to change the terms of our relationship with the Indigenous or this land and heal the bleeding rift. We can’t be writing the treaties anymore.
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What I appreciate about the poem is the need as a ‘settler’ to take stock and be honest about my motivation to be actively working towards reconciliation and how that needs to start with me being willing to decolonize my thinking and way of viewing the society in which I live.
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It lands here as an incredibly moving, challenging and demanding proposal that makes my gut shake and my watery heart softly jump through some sort of excited-scared blend as they both rejoice in a somehow familiar and yet kinda daunting horizon that can be glimpsed and fondly recognized across the abyss of a resounding beat: ‘can I really stretch that much to Be With the bridge that nears the gap between here and there in this crash course?’ Can I really endure the bleeding of my wounds (I can already hear the beat bum-bum, bum-bum) as I’m jumping to the other side?’
There’s another threshold to be crossed. I’m determined to try my best.
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These words are a collective response to the poem by members of the Nubian Book Club in July, 2024.
Allyship is not transactional or extractive
It is relational, fluid, contextual, ever-changing, shape-shifting
It is convergence and heart work
It invites the real – real hurt, real harm, real opportunities for healing and hoping through community
It acknowledges that we are all teachers and we are all learners
It requires the deepest interrogation of ourselves and each other
It necessitates the destruction of the ego.
Can you let go of your ego?
It is a way of life, moment by moment
But…
Who determines who can claim and who is claimed as an ally?
What or whose definition of allyship do we use?
Is it a verb, a noun, an adjective?
Are they simply weapons of mass construction?
Can you be an ally to your own community?
Is there one way to be an ally given the diversity in our intersectional identities, politics, and experiences?
Does it always involve risk?
And when I do take the risk, does it matter who’s watching?
Does my risk speak to what’s needed now?
Being an ally is continuously questioning what it means to be an ally
Risking, acting, questioning, undoing, unlearning, striving, and calling in, for love and liberation
I step up without conditions or expectations
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Truly my heart has been stretched and broken over and over again with my own experiences within the health care system, the discomfort and deceptive and contradictory ways in which this system operates has been infuriating. Many caucasians have said to me the system is really a game that you need to know how to play and thats right, thats been my experience and I do not play the game well because I had the assumption that these people wanted to help me but in reality theyre just showing up for a job that is focused around money and resources that are supposed to be available to help us. They’re SUPPOSED to but that doesn’t mean they really want to help us, that is a big mental shift I have had to make, one that makes the rejection and long waits a little bit less heartbreaking and a little more empowering. Any time I’ve mentioned holistic healing including nutritional changes I’ve been refused care
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